How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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