FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
