theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
