Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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