North Korea, Best Korea!
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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