need another drink. this is the easiest way
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Randomize
