doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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