Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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