Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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