i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
