True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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