Fine. I'll sleep in my office
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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