oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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