I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
