This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
