K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
