3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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