I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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