Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
