the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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