How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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