remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
