bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
