Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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