I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
