I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
