The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Randomize
