After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
