so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
