After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
