I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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