I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
My vagina just clenched in fear
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
