I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
third nipple confirmed
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
