I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
