Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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