maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Randomize
