Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
