Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
