Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You are the jesus of drinking
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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