Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
