Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
