I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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