God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
