Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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