Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
