Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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