i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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