as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
i've created a new STD.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
