he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
