there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I cut my penus on the lid.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
